Middle Market Deals and how to buy, sell and raise capital from $5 to $500 million

I remember the first evidence (which at the time I wholeheartedly rejected) I received that I am in fact a jackass. 

(By this I mean that I am a jerk or in the even more crude vernacular of the day, I am what is commonly called an a--hole.  Personally, given the obstinate and oblivious behavioral traits reputedly exhibited by actual jackasses or donkeys, I prefer the animal reference to the crude anatomical reference with little metaphoric meaning, beyond the vague, yet sharp insult.)

The evidence of my official status as a jackass was that in 1995, I was leaving a job I'd had for a year in a regional investment bank here in Salt Lake.  My boss, Ed, was a stern former CFO with whom I had a rather tenuous rapport.  When I left, he volunteered to take me to lunch as a form of exit interview.  There, he explained, "Devin, you are confrontational."

"Like hell I am!" I thought, but thankfully didn't say out loud.

In hindsight, I think this was a rather kind way of telling me that I was a jerk with whom people don't like to work.  I would certainly have rejected the criticism at the time no matter how it might have been conveyed. 

Notwithstanding a variety of evidences of my interpersonal deficiencies, two years went by before I had the first inkling that Ed might have been right about me.  Today, I recognize Ed's constructive criticism as one of the most valuable life and career insights I've ever heard.

By 1998, I was beginning to cognitively work to be less confrontational, but I don't think I made any progress to speak of until the last few years.

I recall almost as clearly the first time anyone commented on the improvement.  The Controller of a client company noted that I had reacted calmly and with "humility" when he passed along some pointed criticism of our firm's work. 

Today, I find myself realizing that the gap between the person (boss, investment banker, husband, father, friend, brother, neighbor, leader in not-for-profit organizations, etc.) I want to be and the person I am is larger than I would ever have estimated in the past, even though I think I have made some real progress.

Recently, I took an on-line test (thanks Guy Kawasaki) to determine whether or not I might be a jackass. Of course, I answered the questions and scored pretty well, but as I asked myself what others would say about me, I'm not sure I'd score so well.  A new test designed for employees to answer regarding their bosses, reiterated the risks.