Dale Carnegie's book How to Win Friends and Influence People suggests the fundamental principal of becoming "genuinely interested in other people."
Being a jackass myself, I find this challenging. On the other hand, so often I find that when I see people they ask about me, my family (often asking about my wife and son by name) all while I'm struggling to remember the name of the person I'm talking with and wondering if he's married, has children and if he's told me before.
Since reading Carnegie's classic book, I've made some effort to ask people about themselves, to get them talking and to learn about them personally, what interests them and what, especially, their kids are doing. People love to talk about their kids!
People like to do business with people they feel they know and trust. By establishing a dialog with people that builds a relationship, we make progress toward building a successful business relationship.
One of Carnegie's corollary points is that we should be interested in everyone, not just the important.
I have not always been the most gracious customer. In fact, I've had more than my fair share of tantrums on the phone with ditzy customer service people. So lately, I've been working at treating the voice on the other end of the phone like a real person. It is hard for me to break old habits, but I am learning some good lessons.
First and foremost, I'm learning that by being respectful, I get a lot more respect. By saying genuinely, for instance, "I'm having trouble with your service, so clearly I must be doing something wrong, can you help me?" leads to a much more productive conversation than starting with my old line, "Your crappy service is not working; don't you understand how important my business is?"
The fact is, the customer service representative on the other end of the line neither knows nor cares how important my business is. She only cares whether she's enjoying her work right now. If I'm appreciative, respectful and even kind, I find that I get appreciation, respect and kindness in return.
This whole being a nice person thing can be hard, but I'm finding it works. It is, however, hard for me to keep it up. I've spent a lifetime learning bad habits and trying to break them doesn't come easy.
What has been your experience in demonstrating an interest in other people and their respective points of view?
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